Let’s step back for a moment and consider the facts, ‘k?

DatSauceGuy isn’t GQ material or scaly and loathsome…Instead he’s happily middling in all the features and benefits columns. Some would say handsome, but they are (from DisBoy’s perspective) frigging out of their tree. No knuckle dragging, big-headed, 6’ 4” oafish-male could actually be considered bait for the hooking up. So it ain’t ravishing beauty.

Charisma? Er, no. Not unless you count a cheerful disposition, manners, and a goofy sophomoric perspective… So this boy is no George Clooney. Although your Sauce-Like-Human is (or now was—but still is) a fan of his auntie Rosemary…who was a joy but that would require digression about her incredibly wonderful tunes from when she was drinking heavily and depressed as heck… and then I’d be off on her son Miguel (who appears to be a wonderful gent, is a fine actor, and played drums on a Keith Moon album.) And you see? Nothing would get done at all.

Flashy clothing and car? A soon to be 14-year-old-had-it-from-day-one (and still phast as phuck) 196K mile sedan-thingy, and the flash on the clothing scale might be a periodic penchant for fresh and shiny Docs to go with the jeans and Tee or shorts. So? Not a chance there.

Does DatSauce gots a package the size of a mule or bunz O’ steel or….

Nope.

Then, O’ Reader DaSauce…what pray tell would cause the whole world of females that your knuckleheaded pixel slinger runs into on a daily basis to try and “fix” his non-relationship status?

Someone spill here?

This is a major pain and a clear violation of any normal human’s emotional space (not like Katie Doyle’s physical version of Personal Space exactly—but close cause they are all up in yer bidness.)

So.

Female readers? Help a guy out. Is there some unwritten code of ethics when you wear the X-chromosomal pile that says you have to wander around singing Matchmaker from Fiddler On The Frigging Roof?

Huh?

Because DaSauceOfUnnaturalBehaviorOnDaDamesPart had a meeting at his son’s Waldorf this morning… and yeah, everyone loves DaBoy-who-is-Five-Point-Five, they sing his praises mightily (this is as it should be dammit…grin.) But, at this meeting where YerSauce was due to just find out how to help with their future location and point them in the direction of large tech company charitable giving—at least four FEMALE HUMANS FROM HELL tried to hook DaDiarist up with WhoTheFuckKnows.

Is there a plot afoot? Should you tell My Dumb Ass™ something?

Please?

--DatGuyWouldPreferToSkipItOrFindHisOwnThanks