"But, geez, Maw!" he said with a whine. "They wuz sooo easy."

Apology in advance.

[Or not.]

Here goes:

Pullable Pork

Or

Big Ol� Bone-In Boston Butt

Yum.

Welcome to North Carolina.

Life is good.

Dead swine is to die-fo-ah.

Some foods take a while to make and this is one of them�so allow you-self four to six ow-ahs to organize this pile O� pig.

One of the finest moments one can garner while still part of this earthly veil is wandering into a store with your five-year-old and having him ask for �some butt. Preferably big butt.� The looks one gets are priceless. Remember that a swine butt is still pretty cheap as slabs O� meat go�and you can get it just about anywhere. When in doubt�most stupor-markets have one of those dingy things on the butcher counter or one of those doorbell-on-a-stick units.

Remember to ask for butt. Playing with it and warming it properly is the point here�and it is just a fun word to say.

While at the store you can collect some buns as well. Buns are another word for butt�but they also refer to two rounded white things that you can plant some pork in�. [Excuse me. I believe I just crossed a line of demarcation. I�ll try not to slip any more innuendo into this, it is silly enough to begin with and doesn�t need any further rear guard action.]

� Six or so L. B.�s O� Not Smoked or Salted Swine butt (FRESH,) bone-in (some call it Beantown Butt, or Boston Butt or Cardinal Law Butt�and that is a gag I won�t be able to use much longer)

� A Fistful Of Rub�I normally make mine however the mood strikes�but after pouring over various Internet Sites and looking at a few folks versions of same�you could do this and vary according to personal taste.

� Here�s the rub:

Two Tablespoons Salt

Two Tablespoons Sugar

Two Tablespoons Brown Sugar

Two Tablespoons Ground Cumin

Two Tablespoons Chili Powder

Two Tablespoons Freshly Cracked Black Pepper

Two Tablespoons Cayenne Pepper

Two Tablespoons Paprika

� A Bunch (six or so cups?) Of Your Favorite Barbeque Sauce� Make your own� Go with North Carolina Vinegar Variety, Hudson Family BBQ Sauces in Stores�no ands ifs or butts.

� A couple of quarts of wet wood chips [This could be maple, hickory, mesquite, apple, Corn Cob, or whatever�]

A How-To or Butt, Butt, What To Do With A Butt?

� Grab your butt and do what you expect to with the rub. This could be sprinkle and rub, handful and massage, or whatever turns your crank�but get the butt covered in the dry stuff and leave it fat side up in a pan of your choice or one of them tin-foil-ee throw-away pans. Make sure it is totally and full coated. Let it sit for a day in yer fridgedaire covered with plastic film or cook immediatement. Given your druthers let it sit in the icebox for a time and soak in some flavor.

� Wet the chips for a bit�15 minutes minimum, preferably 45�in cool aqua.

� Get one of them charcoal fires or gas grill thingamawhatsits for indirect grilling over low heat. Drain the chips, fold �em up in a couple of layers of heavy foil (tightly,) puncture the foil with a fork a couple of times and put it on the heat until it starts to smoke hard (with an LPG grill�turn a burner to max under the foil for a bit until smoke starts.)

� Slam the whole pan device on the grill, cover-the-grill-itself, and cook the dead swine arse, without bothering to roll it over or turn it, until the skin is crispy and an instant-read thermometer inserted in the thickest part of the meat reads 85 degrees C (or about 185 on the F-scale for those who just can�t go metric like the rest of the planet. Expect about 4 to 5 of those sixty minute things. If you want it more smoky you can add another tinfoil pack O� chips about the halfway mark or so.

� Grab your butt off the grill and slam it on a cutting board. Allow the now cooked and formerly decomposing pig bits to cool enough so you can get your hands on them without screaming. Yank it to bits with your paws, chucking out hunks of fat and that boney part, and place the shredded meat in a bowl. Chop the crispy skin and add it to the pulled pork. (Try not to eat it all.)

� In a big pot, stir the swine with an or-so of 3 cups of BBQ sauce and warm tenderly over medium heat until completely heated. In a nuke or another pan heat up the rest of yer sauce.

EAT IT. EAT IT ON BUNS. EAT IT WITH A FORK. EAT IT WITH MELTY SHARP CHEESE. EAT IT WITH COLE SLAW (according to Sumbitches From Dem Flatlands) Or just say yum and munch (per my son.)