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2003-01-02 --- 6:19 p.m.

Flushing DaSystem --Found An Email That Calls My Ass Saintlike

While clearing out ancient emails--YourSauceHood just ran into some of the-then-soon-to-be-ex's-wife�s-long-before-she-had-a-stroke homework for a counselor (Jan 2000) about what she valued in meself the not so magnificent...

For some reason the absurdity/dichotomy of this list and the fact that she was in mid-departure because she was about �70 percent happy� strikes me as really funny. This is one of those, funny-now-scenarios that was not-real-funny then.

According to this text I should be canonized and on my way to Sainthood. Saint Sauce, anyone?

The bad part is that I want to balance the list with what would have been her list of why-I-sucked, and can�t find it. I wonder if she ever shared that one? But then, I can list my own foibles all day long and probably will append a full on self-critique some day soon as an exercise in actual introspection.

So here, for your amusement, is the pros portion of a two party therapy event she was digging through at the time.

Take this with a grain of salt�as DaSauce sure-as-shit-does.

Anyway--here's what I was chuckling about (and know that I wanna put disclaimers next to most of them.)

**snip**

Some things I "value" in Name-EDITED/DaSauce:

His Intelligence

His caring nature

His ability and willingness to nurture

His ability and willingness to cook

A good provider/money-earner

Emotionally Supportive and complimentary

Socially adept

Really listens

Makes a beautiful baby

Speaks loud enough for me to hear him

Always "has my back"

Gregarious personality

Sense of humor (although, don't enjoy the juvenile as much)

Great kisser

Finds me attractive

Willing, ever-available, and giving sexual partner

**snip**

Shall we call the pope?

Heee.

Just to make certain no-one thinks I am as swell as the above--I have promised Morganzola.diaryland.com that I would do a riff on some tunes that bug me--as she did the Mommy Kissing Santa song.

For a preview?

Every-frigging-time I hear the song (an awful song so it is OK to ruin it for all of you) Torn Between Two Lovers--I think of a double penetration gone very wrong.

That and other insights into my psyche--ere long.

DaSaintSauce

--or--

SauceOfAllSongDecomposition

~*~
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