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2003-03-05 --- 07:19

That�s Entertainment?

Last evening DaSauce and HisKidness hosted an attractive gal by the name of Heather at their home for dinner.

On her arrival, DaKiddo invited her to view his room, while his father suggested that she had a choice and could actually do so later and get acclimated and have a beverage of her choice while YerSauce dashed around in the kitchen. The options ran the gamut from actual potable water to adult beverages.

Heather kindly did the short visit to a little boy�s room. Yep. Bunkbeds, and you chose the color, nice. Lots of books. Toys. Very nice.

Then she arrived at the counter on the other side of the kitchen and requested some form of something in a glass. ThatSauceGuy reiterated the prospective options. Wine sounds good? OK. Red or (and he doesn�t keep it in the house but for guests) White?

White. Fair enough. A dry and tasty blended table, a Chardonnay, or a Pinot Gris?

The answer came back whichever is sweetest.

Now, ThisSauceLike human is not a wine or food snob, he truly thinks that whatever the human he is dealing with likes is fine under the guest privileges rule�but normally doesn�t expect a request for a dessert wine up front�and he�s thinking that he might have some Plum Wine he used for a dessert a year or two ago and it certainly has been open too long.

So, he asked gently what she meant by sweetest.

She didn�t care as long as it wasn�t that vinegary dry stuff.

Now he�s wracking his brain, as he hasn�t had a Boones Farm or an MD 20/20 around his household since he was 20 and then only as a gag or a proper-time-to-get-faced-at-speed-with-a-pal with a long straw and a paper-bag full each.

In a brain-blast he remembers that in a cupboard somewhere is a house-warming gift from an-ever-so-kind-and-tasteful neighbor back a few years ago. Would a Spumante do the trick (over-sweet-bubbles-and-such?) Perfect, notes Heather.

Yer bemused Sauce does a search and destroy mission through his household while trying to remember the couple of times he got blasted with pals and wholeheartedly tried to talk them into taking this crap off his hands and whether it actually was still in residence. The wine was found. Sauce poured her some, noted that he had a glass of water that was perfect for cooking�Cheers.

This could get long, shall we bullet the rest?

� While he is finishing the making of dinner she wanders his living room, front rooms and comes back to report that she has NEVER HEARD OF ANY OF THE BOOKS or seen that many books in a house in her life. Now Sauce has wide-ranging tastes, even though one might think otherwise since the diary has included mostly discussions of hardcover classic children�s firsts, hardcover signed sci-fi/fantasy and on. You'd think that she might have heard of Tom Robbins, Fitzgerald or even Clancy? He gently asks her what she reads. The Heather notes that she doesn�t much like books but sometimes will take Daniel Steel (Yeah, the GUY who Writes Romance Books...) with her on a plane-ride or trip.

� She refills her wine and as he is finishing up the table setting and tossing his salad (HEY! NONE OF THAT!) she comes back to report that she also hasn�t heard of any of the CD�s in his stacks. Again, comes the thought that YerSauceOfAllWideRangingTastes has a lot of discs and they range from everything but pop to everything but pop. He asks her what she likes, and the Heather person mentions a radio station locally. Hrm.

� Your diarist invites her to play with the household-style XM radio that sits next to the Creek headphone amp in his stack of electronics and find something she enjoys. Suddenly, the house is ablaze with Top 20 Music. It is the first time J-Lo�s All I Have is gracing the local amps.

� She finishes the bottle of wine and asks if he has any more. Er. No. Would she like a drink, drink? Sure! (and as you might guess) Anything sweet would be fine. Margarita? Too sour. Cranberry and Vodka? Too sour. Um, maybe Sauce has some Kahlua somewhere. That would be great.

� Dinner is served. She does eat chicken. She doesn�t eat salad. She likes the rice but needs butter and lots of it.

� We are out of Kahlua suddenly. Sauce remembers some Bailey�s in the fridge? Yeah. Half a bottle.

� He clears the dishes and invites her in to talk while he tubs the boy (who has been deeply ignoring her so far.) She demurs noting that she doesn�t want to see a nekid child. Heather sits in living room. Sauce does the bath and PeeJay routine. Would she like to listen to the books for the boy? No. She�s happy with the Christine Aguilera off XM�s top-twenty station in the living room.

� DaSauce finishes tucking in his wonderful little boy. And he wanders out and asks if it would bother her if he turned down the music. She looks pouty as he turns it down.

� Attempted conversation ensues. Current events, her likes, politics, her favorite movies, anything? All a bust. But we do get some conversation about raves she�s been to lately and the end of the Baileys. She helps to sort through all the bottles in the liquor cabinet and decides on dark rum. Heather then helps to forage the fridge and finds some lemonade and with a couple of teaspoons of sugar it is palatable.

� She unbuttons two buttons and tries to kiss your pixel slinger. He ducks those few attempts as gently as he can. Somewhere in the recesses of his mind he remembers that he found her physically attractive for a few moments yesterday--and would again, were she anyone other than who she appears to be....

� Slightly slurring, she notes that she has to work in the morning�he offers to call her a cab. NO! She�s driving. He asks if she has some pals that could pick her up. NO! She�s driving. Now, your Sauce offers to get the boy up and drive her home. NO! Could he get her some coffee and water and have her hang out for a bit? NO! And out the door she rolls. And heads for her car. Starts it up and leaves.

� Sauce vaguely thinks about whether he should call someone and report a drunk driver.

--SauceRemembersWhyGuiltShouldHaveNothingToDoWithDating.

Really funny 9 am addendum? DatSauceGuy got a call on his cell while returning from delivering DaKiddo to school from a gal named Heather. It turns out that she had an AMAZING time, hadn't had such a lovely evening in forever, was thrilled that DaSauce was such a gentleman, and wanted to catch up tonight or tomorrow night again. You'll be surprised to know that Sauce gave her a polite no.

It sure is all a matter of perspective, eh?

~*~
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