Let�s step back for a moment and consider the facts, �k?

DatSauceGuy isn�t GQ material or scaly and loathsome�Instead he�s happily middling in all the features and benefits columns. Some would say handsome, but they are (from DisBoy�s perspective) frigging out of their tree. No knuckle dragging, big-headed, 6� 4� oafish-male could actually be considered bait for the hooking up. So it ain�t ravishing beauty.

Charisma? Er, no. Not unless you count a cheerful disposition, manners, and a goofy sophomoric perspective� So this boy is no George Clooney. Although your Sauce-Like-Human is (or now was�but still is) a fan of his auntie Rosemary�who was a joy but that would require digression about her incredibly wonderful tunes from when she was drinking heavily and depressed as heck� and then I�d be off on her son Miguel (who appears to be a wonderful gent, is a fine actor, and played drums on a Keith Moon album.) And you see? Nothing would get done at all.

Flashy clothing and car? A soon to be 14-year-old-had-it-from-day-one (and still phast as phuck) 196K mile sedan-thingy, and the flash on the clothing scale might be a periodic penchant for fresh and shiny Docs to go with the jeans and Tee or shorts. So? Not a chance there.

Does DatSauce gots a package the size of a mule or bunz O� steel or�.

Nope.

Then, O� Reader DaSauce�what pray tell would cause the whole world of females that your knuckleheaded pixel slinger runs into on a daily basis to try and �fix� his non-relationship status?

Someone spill here?

This is a major pain and a clear violation of any normal human�s emotional space (not like Katie Doyle�s physical version of Personal Space exactly�but close cause they are all up in yer bidness.)

So.

Female readers? Help a guy out. Is there some unwritten code of ethics when you wear the X-chromosomal pile that says you have to wander around singing Matchmaker from Fiddler On The Frigging Roof?

Huh?

Because DaSauceOfUnnaturalBehaviorOnDaDamesPart had a meeting at his son�s Waldorf this morning� and yeah, everyone loves DaBoy-who-is-Five-Point-Five, they sing his praises mightily (this is as it should be dammit�grin.) But, at this meeting where YerSauce was due to just find out how to help with their future location and point them in the direction of large tech company charitable giving�at least four FEMALE HUMANS FROM HELL tried to hook DaDiarist up with WhoTheFuckKnows.

Is there a plot afoot? Should you tell My Dumb Ass� something?

Please?

--DatGuyWouldPreferToSkipItOrFindHisOwnThanks