Latest Entry
Older Entries
My Profile
eMail Me
Notes
Get Your Own Diaryland Diary
2003-01-25 --- 17:16

Soup For All Occasions....

In a surprise episode of cooking with the boys, tonight�s dinner is going to be Cream of Anaheim Green Chili Soup. That�s right! You too can make this luscious and creamy, and piquant-yet-soul-gratifyingly-warming masterpiece.

Just don�t tell anyone that you cheated like a bitch.

Now. You don�t hafta actually cheat like a dog. You could do it correctly. It might be just about as good or sometimes slightly better. I've tested this each possible way. I like to cheat.

I�ll give you the noncheater primer at the end of this entry�if�n you�d be jes� mahtified at the prospect of doing anything less than actually slaving over this dish.

But, before dishing with the making of the dish? I�ll share a leetle secret. Back when I lived in the South Coast of DaBayArea, my-long-before-stroked wife and I used to use any opportunity to go down to a little restaurant in Pescadero, Ca. This little place made all kinds of good foods�including a tasty little Calamari Steak Sandwich, fair varieties of costly entr�es, et al.

But what they were known for�and why I would drag visitors, relatives, myself, who-the-phuck-ever down there? Cream Of Anaheim Green Chili Soup. It rocked so hard that I�d lick the bowl and my fingers and clean random spoons of other patrons. Shit. I�d lick the waitress to get more. [The proceeding was an exaggeration designed to cause a grin or a slight laugh and make a point STRONGLY that the soup was good. Thank you.]

After becoming something of an aficionado O� dat soup? I began to notice more about the texture and the flavor, and the overall soupness than just the SOUL SEERING NEED TO EAT IT.

I asked the waitress for the recipe. Holy Mother O� Allah�s Freaking Favorite Bride! You might have thought I asked for her to spend the next thirty days and thirty nights as my sex slave (who could only sleep nekkid on the cold floor next to my bed. Ahem. Imagination today, Sauce? Yes. Thanks again.) She was mortified. Aghast. A-phucking-twitter. �That is a family secret. We have been serving this soup for FORTY YEARS. No one knows the ingredients. �

Fine. Throw me a challenge.

The next few times through, I bought the chef a beverage. We became buds. I asked him if it would cross any of his Freemason Dire Secrets and cause his death if I wanted him to rule out any ingredients I thought were in there�that were not in-fact part of the soup. He concurred that it would be safe.

I started with my Occam's Razor flavored list. (If you are going to get pissy and start with the Ockham, go for it. Snot.) This would be the K I S S theory of cooking. Keep it simple, stupid has worked for most of us.

You could have knocked the man over with a dust mote when I finished my list of four ingredients. He was a-phucking-gape. [Agape is totally different. Look it up. It is what I feel for female-kind.]

He just stood there catching flies with his mouth for a bit. Then he closed his big-cheflike-cakehole. He said, �Who told you?� I said, �you just did.�

Thus this recipe. The story is 100 percent unadulterated (well, minus the reference to loving dames, I added that. And, um, "Masonry/The Brotherhood/The Lodge/The Craft/The Trilateral Commission/The Rosicrucians �or�FreeMasons were never really mentioned.)

With apologies for any lost income to a little place in downtown Pescadaro, Cali-For-Nee-I-AAY.

Cream of Green Chili Soup.

Move the various ingredients up or down in quantity to taste�as per any normal phreaking cooking thing� Sheesh. Also to serve more than two? Double the recipe. And so on. Really. Promise.

One Can Mild Fire Roasted Chopped Green Chilis

One Large Can Campbell�s Cream of Mushroom Soup

A Cup Good Sour Cream

A Pint Of Milk.

Blend in a Osterizer-type-thingy

Heat on a stove (ideally in a soup pot.)

Serve in mugs or bowls.

For fun, heat up some really crusty (put a pan of water on the bottom rack of the oven while preheating) Brown And Serve Sourdough Bread For Dipping.

Those that want the hard route?

Look up a good cream of mushroom recipe on the net. You know the ones where you start with a quality chicken stock (make it with bird-carcass, celery, carrots, and on. Just don�t boil it or you�ll have to start over,) and use heavy cream? Yeah. Do that.

Then buy some fresh Anaheim Green Chilies and soak them in good oil overnight. Roast they asses on the grill and then peel and chop.

Make your own sour cream.

Milk your own heifer.

Grind the shit up in a blender and serve it hot.

See? Fun for everyone. Drama-dweebs can pretend they slaved for hou-ahs and come out of the kitchen sweating. Take it to family events as the secret goodie, and on.

Lastly? To crank up the heat? Add a couple more cans of those �Mild-MY-SHREIKING-RECTUM!� chilies. They�ll do the trick.

--DatSoupySalesLikeSauce

~*~
2 comments so far
Weird Link of the Day: Those Nutty Masons
Reading: A Caress Of Shadow, LKH�s book showed YAY!
What's Cooking: Soup. You guessed it! Smart reader. Good Reader.

recent entries:

DaSauce Top Se7enStatHoz
(DaTermIned By DaStats)
1. How This Oafish Boy Became An Only Parent
2. Erectile (T)Issues
3. DaSauce Explains All Males (really!)
4. Sauce Tries To Explain What IN-LOVE Means To Him
5. A Moment Of Truth For DaSauce
6. Would you, Could You With A Goat?
7. Sauce Soixante Neuf
Diarist Awards 2002 Quarter Four Winner - Best Dramatic Entry

join my Notify List and get email when I update my site:
email:
Powered by NotifyList.com

All material � 2002-2003 DaSauce unless otherwise noted.
Feel free to beg (ask) or borrow (link back) but I'd prefer you didn't steal.
Recommended for IE 5.0 or higher, or Netscape 4.0 or higher
Designed for screen setting of 800 by 600 pixels