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2003-02-19 --- 18:04

Continued Thanks To WhoEver You IS....

OK.

Where were we?

Ah, yes. Thanks To The Prospective Future Female ala DaSauce For Being Who She Is And Understanding Some Of The Following:

� You are kind enough to remember that my Y-damaged self includes an inability to understand the simplest things you could tell a female. Speak slowly and carefully�I�ll get it eventually. Unless I am being obstinate and pretending I don�t get what you are saying or what you want�and then, it may take a bit longer. [My apologies to the men reading this portion, you may have just been outted. �But, Honey-Bunchette! I didn�t know you couldn�t put bright reds in with whites. I guess I can�t do laundry anymore.� Yep. Boyz do that sometimes.

� You are dealing with a boy. Boys (�cept for those emo sweeties that�ll discuss Anne Sexton with you) really get crawly and approach ill when they have to think about why they do something. Introspection is incredibly hard for us. It is like you peeing from a full standing position, gals. It can be done, but it gets ICKY.

� OK. DaSauce has gotten past the-getting-pissed-at-dames-when they cry portion of Boyness. But it is still hard. Repeat after me ladies. When you cry a boy feels guilty. Guilt leads directly (without passing go) to frustration with self for causing the tears, and anger. Now. Being a more EVOLVED boy, I still sorta feel these things but can mostly tell when I should just BACK the PHUCK OFF or quietly hold and hug. Thank you for understanding this somewhat.

� Thank you for knowing that I will never accessorize your dumb ass� (Hey, if I � mine, she can have a registered butt.) DaSauce makes a lousy handbag. Get over this before we meet OK? My clothing choices may not be what you would wear or even match what you are wearing�but I have lots of lovely qualities, and you are very understanding. Thank you.

� I know you know this, but it bears repeating. If something is upsetting you? Tell YerSauce, OK? I may not GROK the answer to the overall problem, but I should be allowed to know that you are slamming things around because I have left a minor coffee spill in the kitchen for the past couple of years and you have just reached peak-pet-peeve status. Help a boy to understand, and he might even try to fix it.

� The same goes for sexuality. DaSauceGuy has no intention of being in a long-term relationship with someone who isn�t in touch with their own sexuality and able to learn together�but for the rest of DaReader�s DaSauce? Find a way that isn�t whiney or bossy� (Kinda Like Gentling A Horse) to help your boy do the stuff that makes you feels good-as-all-get-out. Help him larn. Help him Grok your body. You know it well. He don�t. And more, you might have to repeat things�again, in a way that doesn�t damage fragile Boy Ego� and get him to practice with you. He might even understand enough by completion that he has the new-found-introspection to be able to have you learn his body in a way that feels good (as we boys aren�t all the same either.) Listen. No matter how much WE Luuuuuurve the female form, we just don�t understand it as well as you�d think. Mucus Membranes and Hooded Regions are really fun but still completely foreign to us. Help us.

� The mood thing. Thanks for understanding that men just can�t keep up sometimes. [Shit. Read some diaries on here. You can�t keep up with your own moods sometimes. Grin.] We�re slow. But we do love you.

� DaSauce really is pleased that you aren�t the type of person who will dump your day�s entire ass-load O'trauma with him--on the way to bed, no-less, and leave him there awake and stewing. Thanks for finding a better time.

� Thanks for being cognizant of DatSauceLike NEED in regard to repairing problems. He knows that some things aren�t just a change of a fuse and all is right with the world, but his mind and body go into FIX IT mode whenever there is a problem of any sort. Bear with him. Besides, sometimes things get fixed that way. It can be nice to have someone around who just gets serious and commanding and does stuff during an emergent situation. Otherwise, let your boy know that it isn�t helping. Gently. Remember that Boy Ego�.

� Thank you for knowing that we gents are still deeply visual on the stimulation side, and this boy promises to read you dirty poetry now and again, and find a middle ground. But for the most part the overly trite rumors are correct. Boys are visual and Girlz are cerebral in the getting hard and wet categories.

� Now, saying that� please note that this particular boy is planning on loving you for what�s inside equally or more than what�s outside�and doesn�t care if you are a size 4 through periodic 14. It just doesn�t matter to him. It might matter to you�and thus to him as a result if you start feeling ugly and unlovable as that will have a profound impact on DaSauce�s ability to share bodily fluids.

� Thank you for not being a frigging LollyPopHead size Zero Attempting person who looks like Lara Flinnagan Boils.

� This could continue for a long time.

YerSauceOfHe�sHadEnoughIntrospectionAndNeedsToRantNext wants to thank you just possibly being a person who understands this next almost sounding like part of a personal ad [God. DaSauce is an asswipe.] blurb�and it was almost removed because DatSauceGuy was beginning to think it sounded like bad shit from Match.com or somesuch� But Cuz It IS GOOD ANYWAY�Suck it up.

'If you want this choice position,

Have a cheery disposition,

Rosy cheeks, no warts!

Play games, all sorts;

You must be kind, you must be witty,

Very sweet and fairly pretty;

Take us on outings, give us treats,

Sing songs, bring sweets;

Never be cross or cruel;

Never give us castor oil or gruel;'

*How about some of that and none? *How about I like thick gruel? *How about a PEER and a PAL? *How about the unknown? *How about someone as strong as she is human and female? *How about a gal who has rolled through trauma, and is still willing to (and regularly does) enjoy each day? *How about someone whose mind and body I get to learn (and yet never find fully predictable) with that always wonderful/nagging hope that it could be for a very long time? *How about someone I want to smile with? [Best-friendship is NEVER overrated in a lover. So there.] *How about I just shut the phuck up now?

~*~
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