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2003-02-03 --- 20:12

Sauce Soixante Neuf

In honor of this being entry number 69, I have had all kinds of salacious thoughts running through my somewhat thick skull.

Be very glad I have left off the Limericks, Odes, Short Stories, and Mutual Pleasuring Commentaries that would have been fun but unsettling as hell for you, DaReader.

Instead? DaSauce Brings You 69 Random Facts about his-self for no known reason other than it seemed more sensible than a 69-word entry.

In no particular order—DatSauceGuy:

1. Met and befriended Robert Reich on a 12-hour airplane ride…most of his long-term random run-into pals are from airports, planes, and the like.

2. Is not sure that the Japanese staple, Natto should be considered a food, as it tastes too close to sewage?

3. Also dislikes Camel as a food. But has yet to try Baby Camel so it may be an age issue.

4. Feels deep disgust for Green American Bell Peppers.

5. Will eat everything else on the planet, as yet. Still searching for the fourth item he don't like... Grin.

6. Has a strange certainty that writing a diary is better than picking his nose.

7. Supports a small village in Guatemala with his own coffee consumption.

8. Believes with all his heart that the TV show Due South was the height of the 2D television age.

9. Remembers almost nothing of his life before age six--which may make his attempts at parenting perfection moot for his five year old.

10. Ought to spend more time riding his bike.

11. Taught his five-year-old son the song Up In The Air Junior Birdman.

12. Misses woodstoves.

13. Looks very forward to Quantum writing.

14. Thinks that his favorite place on a woman’s body (for today) is her neck—if she is not a phucking lollypophead.

15. Wants Rainier Cherries right now, but knows that the two-week window for them is in early July.

16. Cannot wait for the next Meatmen album and needs to write Tesco Vee to give him shit for not getting it done sooner.

17. Has never been to the Caroline Islands.

18. Loves all variations of the game Bomberman.

19. Believes that board games (family-type) are underappreciated.

20. Wants to meet Jack Vance before he croaks.

21. Has collected Fantasy and Science Fiction firsts in hardcover for many years.

22. Is really pissed at his pal David Eddings for not being less of a puss and standing up to his grumpy-ass namesake Uncle and getting me signatures for about 20 books he has sitting on a shelf waiting for same.

23. Thinks it would be fun (and still embarrassing as shit for America) to get a full list of The Shrub’s actually-used-in-front-of-them-nicknames for world leaders—ala Pooty-Poo for Putin.

24. Still wants to go up in the Space Shuttle.

25. Wants to try zero gravity sex even more than that…

26. Should never have brought up sex.

27. Could use a couple of hours of the beast with two backs more than bike riding each day.

28. Loves nutty cover albums.

29. Thinks fireworks should not be allowed in regions without mountains surrounding them--as the echoes Phucking Rule and otherwise the whole idea is deeply sucky.

30. Is planning on going on the Hockey Tour of Canada when the Sharks finally win a Stanley Cup. You know? Moose Jaw, Saskatoon, Medicine Hat, and on?

31. Thinks Al Iafrate followed him around for years—but doesn’t mind, as he was/is a wonderful sumbitch.

32. Is not proud of the fact that his mom is now a member of the D.A.R.

33. Thinks it funny that he had a relative off’d (hung) as part of the Charles the 1st debacle.

34. Had a relative (Murdo Mackenzie) who had a major sense of humor and kidnapped and married a Campbell Chieftain’s Daughter (Breadalbane.)

35. Has a 3X Great Grandfather who was the first actor knighted by the Queen of England and thinks that is pretty cool, as actors were considered lower-than-scum in those days.

36. Is really embarrassed to have had a chunk of family (frigging Rhodes followers and Federalists) who ran Rhodesia as their own little plantation.

37. Has never seen Braveheart, but gets a kick out of having a family member who was Wm. Wallace’s sidekick-- Andrew de Moray. Further, gets a kick out of all the goofy members sired by him that were related to The Bruce (and always enjoys a good Python Bruce Joke.)

38. Is equally proud that his dad’s side has almost no information—other than being Anglophone Quebecois types from the Sherbrooke area.

39. Could go on for years about nutty relatives. And even better? Won’t.

40. Named his son after a pal of Shakespeare’s…

41. Lives for Warner Bros Cartoons.

42. Loves Krazy Kat.

43. Thinks cartoon violence rocks.

44. Wishes that the Vatican hadn’t approved Harry Potter.

45. Bought the fifth Potter book within 20 minutes of its announcement from Amazon… and is thus a big dork.

46. Enjoys reading about the Anti-Popes and the incredible adventures of the Borgia Family.

47. Sings Let’s All Go To The Lobby in full elevators heading for the ground floor.

48. Sang the lead in a huge production of Oklahoma, and really gets a kick out of bad musicals.

49. Was in the U.S. Navy’s Blue Jacket Choir (sheepishly.)

50. Sometimes envisions life as a musical.

51. Wants to have the money to collect lots more 18th and 19th century children’s classic books in 1st edition.

52. Wants to own more Burroughs’ firsts as well.

53. Doesn’t really Need Them. But that isn’t the point.

54. Thinks Cool World is a great film—with the sound off.

55. Prefers Teaberry Gum to all others, and used to eat (well, chew and spit) real Teaberries while climbing in New England.

56. Had Robert Penn Warren invite he and his dad to go swimming in the buff—as it was manly activity.

57. Makes an amazing Curried Capon.

58. Hasn’t done a proper stage dive in half a decade, but plans to soon.

59. Thinks Montreal is the best city on the planet—even with those damned angry Francophones.

60. Thinks that the state of Vermont walks on water.

61. Was taught skiing by Suzy Chaffee (not yet Chapstick.)

62. Thought she was hot, even though he was very young.

63. Never slept with your mother.

64. Could do this shit for the next few days.

65. Sings a different (lyrically) Brahms Lullaby to his kid every night and has for his whole life.

66. Thinks that perhaps, a variation of the T I A (Total Information Awareness--with their Masonic-All-Seeing-Eyeball, and Ashcroft's Touch) will be passed in the coming months.

67. Randomly wonders what happened to Mark Rudd (of SDS?) And more, how that came from the discussion about the T I A?

68. Drinks at least five liters of water a day. Might just be a camel. Maybe that's why they taste so lousy!

69. Believes that the best place for some swell mutual pleasure with the number to the left, is a hammock.


1 comments so far
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