**snip of DaSauce Noises**

I know you know this, but it bears repeating. If something is upsetting you? Tell YerSauce, OK? I may not GROK the answer to the overall problem, but I should be allowed to know that you are slamming things around because I have left a minor coffee spill in the kitchen for the past couple of years and you have just reached peak-pet-peeve status. Help a boy to understand, and he might even try to fix it.

2003 - 02 - 19

**snip of DaSauce Noises**

Thanks for stating what I thought to be obvious and quite a few other people did not. It's nice to know I'm not the only person lacking psychic ability.

**Insert obligatory coo over child**

I like the way you write about your son as if he's a person, not just some short creature who happens to live with you.

If you wouldn't mind telling me, how do you discipline him? I'm a sociology major and an ongoing class discussion (read argument) is about spanking. Majority of the class feels that children under seven or so don't have the mental capacity to be reasoned with.

Would you mind offering an opinion?

Thanks for providing a hilarious/touching good read while I'm suffering from insomnia.

--NameHereFromTTU

++++++++

Sorry about the lengthy wait for a reply, Ma'am.

Life gets a bit crazy sometimes, and it has been on my list of things to do over coffee for a great number of mornings. Surprise! This morning's coffee actually finds me following up! Yay!

So, yeah. I thought it was obvious--but clearly the two loves of my life as yet, did not. Thanks for letting me know that I am not a lummox on this issue.

In re: treating my son like a human? Um, clearly you know it, but HE IS. I have to wonder why that shocks so many folks. There is something a bit unsettling about our world if parents treat their kids like little creatures that share the same space.

In the case of your class?

Sociology types at TTU really grew up in spare the rod, spoil the child land didn't they? I guess I should expect such from that area--I've lived there. They don't call the region Bible Belt because it holds up pants. I think I have met far more Christian-Love-Confused in Texas than any other state. What is it they don't get about Love One Another? Grin.

Look.

My parents never forwent the prospect of wailing on my butt to get my attention. I don't think it hurt me overall--but I really don't think it was an effective way of causing thought. It just made me mad. Mental capacity is one of those intangible moments. Has my son understood consequences since age two plus? Yeah. Pretty much. So actual reasoning is happening to a lesser extent even then. He figured out that it was his decision not to lose privileges when warned and counted down from one to three.

A typical moment would be the loss of music for a day after explaining that if he couldn't pay attention and not kick the table during dinner he didn't get the joy of music for the next 24. Numerous kicks. Explaination. Kick. One, Kick. Two, Kick. Three, Kick. No music. After losing a number of his favorite things it was more self-interest than reasoning about the WHY I DON'T KICK TABLES as part of being a gentleman... but it works. Most of the time. I suspect every child's list of things to lose would be different, but mine is Books, Music, Desserts, Games (board, card, et al,) Television on the coming weekend (TEEVEE scrooge here) and on.

I have smacked his butt three times in his life--and in two of three cases it was to get his attention on potentially life threatening issues that he was not stopping quickly enough--and with warning. The third was a day when we worked through every possible step on stopping an activity he knew better about... Time-Out. Nothing. Loss of a privilege. Nothing. Time-Out Again, But longer. Nothing. And on through all his privileges. Nothing. He knew a spank was next and being banned to his bed and with the door shut was part of it. It was done with no anger (some frustration at being tested that far,) but not Anger.

I haven't got a major Jones about not spanking... I just wonder if teaching kids to hit is a good idea. Thus we use other methods 99.9 percent of the time. Shit, I got Lincoln Logs broken over my butt, a belt now and again, and on... and I think I am fine. But it is not and never will be my preferred methodology...

Beyond that, I see a fair number of nutball parents striking their children for anything and not necessarily on the buttocks. Hitting a child across the face for asking lots of questions and being shrill when ignored? Makes me want to hit the parent. But as I noted to a pal a day or two ago? Responding that way or even with legalisms? Just gets taken out on the kids more often than not because folks like that are clearly the worst sort of coward and would not respond properly when confronted. They'd just wait until they got home and hit their kid more out of their own anger at being accosted over it.

With your permission, I think I'll reprint this (minus yer name) in the diary as it is an interesting conversation.

Best atcha,

--SauceOfUselessInfo

++++++++++++

OK, Reading the responses to yesterday's survey has been fun... But a couple of things bear noting?

One? TattNan? That wasn't an offer (but it was sweet of you to think so... Funny person.)

Two? When we got past the serious questions and got up to Silly/Too Much Information (T.M.I.) land?

DatSauceGuy thinks it both sad, and hilarious that nearly every gal that has done the survey has read the words Head or Coitus? and responded about their giving head to their S.O.'s.... Ya know? It isn't all that surprising that most of you who thought it a one-way-thing or Not About Personally Receiving ORAL JOY, seemed less than enthralled with the head option and some of you head-in-general. Um, obligations feel like obligations--and any boy worth his salt will refuse sex that feels obligatory. Part A? It's not fun. Part B? Who'd want that kind of icky feeling of having someone do something with them that should be great fun as a job? But, maybe I live in dreamland. A lot of my peers wouldn't agree. Friction and warm/wet count more for them.