Like I can help you folks with your males? I don�t even have many male pals, muchless any interest in becoming part of a relationship with a boy other than my own son.

What I think is actually meant is that folks are saying in some roundabout fashion that they see the voice projected in this diary as something unusual in their lives�and that is a genuinely and largely happy male human.

A while back? A (WONDERFUL) diarist pal of mine pointed some stuff out to me in a confused flurry of emails (my confusion, not hers) that helped me understand why there appeared to be such a strange pile of interest about my content.

I�ll shorten the conversation and the confusion to a minimum for you�and see if we can work through the gist.

Me: Why the heck am I getting all this attention from dames I don�t know?

Her: It is the daddy thing.

Me: WHAT!??!? Ugh. Yuck. That is gross. Shit. I am never going to write another word. I am quitting the frigging diary. Ewwwwwwwwww. That is it. Done. Finito. No more.

Her: No stupid. They don�t want you to play daddy for them. They see something they missed in their own dad, and they see that you are a good person. A dad who can and does offer a lot of love and attention to your boy. So as a result of this and other stuff you seem to be the best daddy on the Internet.

Me: I� What? Really? That�s crazy. Bullshit. Silly talk. But� How could I seem such? And there must be other dads out there who are cool and interesting? And dads who do the right thing? Right?

Her: I know of one who keeps a journal and is deeply loving about his kids but he has a wife to fall back on and you are an Only Parent and that makes gals see value beyond what he offers.

Me: Oh. But they don�t want a dad, right?

Her: No DumbASS.

Me: OK. Whatever, then. I guess I�ll stick with the journal.

So, in seeing the few notes over the past week or two, and with memories of someone who left a comment in TranceJen�s Diary (and I cannot find it for the life of me�) I can offer this advice. But it is not just mine, and I really clicked with this gal�s suggestion for a good relationship from her comments and can�t find her. So, if anyone needs attribution it is her as well, OK?

In a nutshell she suggested that the key to a good relationship with a boy was finding someone happy. Find someone who is not a momma�s boy. And he doesn�t think his mother is the Wicked Witch O� DaWest either. Find someone who has an overall contented and positive outlook. She asked Jen how many of her relationships with men had been with guys who were happy--genuinely happy to meet the day? She asked if the guys she had dealt with were secure and without huge co-dependant relationships with their families but loved them and were just willing to let nonsense roll off their backs like water off a duck. She noted that happy guys don�t need to be fixed or repaired by a significant other. That they don�t think that they are the greatest thing that happened to women since the advent of the vibrator. Nor did they feel the reverse and come across daily as miserable and downtrodden and sad. She noted that happy guys didn�t need constant atta-boys about their being AMAZING. That they didn�t just go into hiding. That they were reasonable. That a secure and happy male human would never be afraid to tell you when you were being a shithead�but would also not be terrified of figuring out solutions to the WHY you were being crappy.

I�m sure she went on, but this seemed so very much a DUH thing to me, that I had to sit back and ponder all my married pals in troubled relationships and I realized to a one that they and/or their spouse were NOT with the program on the list above. Not at all. There was something key missing from them in that list.

So, on as much INTROSPECTION as this particular IdiotDiarist can manage�there is some combination of the two above things that make folks ask him for advice about their guys. Or even read this diary, really.

Maybe we should all find a genuinely happy human who is self-sufficient as a stand alone unit? Male, Female, Gay/Straight/Plushy/Whatever? Because all in all that would be a really good start in most relationships.

--SauceOfDearAbbyMoments

PS. The above mention of those who are Gay (or just really happy or both?) It clicked something in my head. Three years ago this Saturday the 26th, my home state of Vermont enacted a law that allows relationships of the same sex equal rights to those of differing sexes and married. And during this time when we have Senators shouting from the rooftops that any Supreme Court Decision that might come down soon and put the kibosh on those really nice cops who raided a gay household and found two folks in the happy state of love making and arrested them? [Excuse me. Fucking Nazi Ass Cops And Nosy Neighbors Who Called In A Fake Complaint Who Arrested Them?] Anyway a particularly stinking turd of a third in command in the G.O.P. Congress seems to think that when the Supreme Court throws out the arrest on various grounds it will immediately lead to Incest, Rape, Bestiality, And Various OTHER sinful behaviors being legalized? Shut the hell up, asshole. The next time you compare Incest with Children to two happy adults doing what they will without hurting anyone in the confines of their own home? Someone ought to smack you in the head with a rather large pile of dung to match your thought processes.

And remember my home state of Vermont this Saturday, please. They always seem to take these steps alone. In 1777 they outlawed Slavery of any kind. And it took how long in the deepest South?